


Gentron Week Day 2: Adopting a Pet Together

by sunshinehime



Series: Gentron Week Event 2020 [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) Lives, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Blade of Marmora Leader Keith (Voltron), Dark Comedy, Death from Old Age, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post Season 8, Post-Canon, Swearing, adopting a pet, in both spanish and english lol, in which keith's human family/friends are dying and I still fit in jokes, when the pet is a foul mouth parrot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25717384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinehime/pseuds/sunshinehime
Summary: In Keith’s continued tragicomedy of a life, he inherits a cursing parrot named Guava.
Relationships: Acxa & Ezor & Keith & Zethrid (Voltron), Allura & Keith (Voltron)
Series: Gentron Week Event 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863511
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	Gentron Week Day 2: Adopting a Pet Together

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this fic takes place a while after Moments At Our Home. You definitely don't need to read it to understand this fic but I would love it if you did anyway lol

When Lance died, Keith inherited his pet parrot the next day. 

He's still numb after the funeral service, losing yet another loved one in the same year. He’s sitting with the estate lawyer in the latter’s office as his best friend’s last will and testament is read aloud. Then right before Keith’s inheritance is declared, the lawyer stops and stands, turning around to face a square shaped object covered by a large white sheet. 

There’s a sinking feeling in Keith’s stomach and it’s not from the shitty rice porridge that Shiro made and insisted he eat before he left this morning. He’s 100 percent sure his brother is doing it on purpose, knowing that thanks to his advanced age Keith can’t morally refuse Shiro’s terrible cooking anymore.

The lawyer pulls off the sheet, and standing on the wooden rest inside of a large cage is the bane of Keith's existence for the past 20 some odd years: a bright green parrot named Guava that Lance bought on a whim during a middle-aged crisis. Said parrot lifts his head and looks him dead in his eyes, calls him a fucker, and then whistles salsa while hopping around and bobbing his head.

Keith looks at the grey suit wearing lawyer and smiles with no mirth. “Thanks, I hate it.”

The lawyer shrugs. “I won’t have to hear this bird call me a puta anymore, so that’s a win for me.” Keith can practically hear Lance cackling at him from beyond the grave.

Not more than a week later he’s sitting at the pilot's seat on the bridge of his ship with Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor, that same bright green parrot resting on his shoulder.

Ezor crosses her arms, somehow balanced perfectly on the arm of the chair behind the side battle station. Then she crosses her legs with a casual lightness and Keith is torn between being infuriated at how easily she pulls it off and wanting to take notes. "Did you really need to bring that thing with you?"

"Fuck you!"

Ezor looks taken aback, as if she doesn't already know about Guava’s dirty mouth. Hell, she taught him several Galra curses herself. But he always liked the simple human ones best.

"That's not nice Guava. You forgot the please." He laughs when she punches him in the arm and storms off, then feeds Guava a peanut from his stash on the dashboard. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

Heavy footsteps behind him and Zethrid's large form appears by his side, before reaching over to scratch the parrot's head and cheek. "Hey there Buddy. Picking on my girl again?"

Guava bobs his head. “¡Vete al diablo! ¡Vete al diablo!”

"Awww, right back at you asshole." Her laugh booms around Keith and Guava preens at the insult. It’s almost sweet how quickly Zethrid took to him already.

Acxa comes up on his left and Guava lets out a wolf whistle, causing her to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Do we have to keep him on board? It’s already crowded enough as it is." With absolute flawless timing Kosmo teleports in a flash and lands on Acxa’s head. His massive size dwarfs her and forces her to hunch over. She grunts with the strain then growls and he teleports again to rest his head on Keith’s lap. Guava imitates a hissing noise and bounces a bit.

Keith shrugs at her comment, then scratches behind Kosmo’s ears when he puts his head in Keith’s lap. "Guava seems to like my shoulder well enough. And I can work on my space pirate impersonation."

Zethrid snorts. "You're cracking more jokes than usual bossman."

"Maybe Lance's spirit is possessing me." Keith then mutters "he _would_ do something like that."

The comms beeps once, twice, and Allura's face appears on the comms screen above the dashboard.

"Oh right! That's what I was supposed to remind you about," Ezor yells from another room, probably unwilling to be around Guava.

"Thank you Ezor." And he reminds himself to sic the parrot on her later.

Allura giggles a bit, then straightens up a bit. “How is your mission coming along?” And Keith and Allura strike up a quick discussion about some of the mission details involving planet Reclave’s need for a new irrigation system.

Guava, after flitting around on Keith’s shoulder, decides to interject. “Hey there sexy lady.” A tweet and then “You’re raising _my_ barrier.” And another tweet as he moves and bobs his head.

The line delivery is so perfectly, completely Lance that the two freeze up mid-conversation. It’s like hearing a ghost. An extremely flirtatious ghost packing the worst pickup lines. Allura snorts and then they both laugh. If their chuckles sound a bit wet, and if they both wipe their eyes a little too long, no one else comments. Kosmo whines and licks Keith’s cheek and Keith buries his face in his fur.

**Author's Note:**

> Spanish curses translations (edit: thanks to Nigther for correcting my curses ((I am a disgrace to my fellow latines OTL )), they are now updated here and in the story!):  
> Puta - bitch/whore  
> ¡Vete al diablo! - Go to hell
> 
> I'm aware that normally for a large estate it could take a year or even years to settle an inheritance. However, I like to imagine that Lance would make special instructions to get his birb re-homed quickly.
> 
> This story is kinda a different style for me, as I wanted to push that mood whiplash surrealist atmosphere to the limit. It was really fun and really sad, since I included my major HC of Keith outliving his human family. Also Shiro is absolutely that bastard who would live the longest out of the humans lol


End file.
